How To Make A LocoRoco Piñata

If we had hands, we'd do the mannerism!

There are many reasons why one would make a LocoRoco piñata. Perhaps you’re a Mexican who likes the game. Perhaps you’re a Mexican who hates the game. Perhaps you’re a massive nerd holding a Mexican-themed party. Or maybe you’re trying to erase bad childhood memories of your grandfather filling piñatas with coins so that, upon smashing said piñata, bits of metal would come flying at your face. Yes, perhaps you are trying to replace those memories with new ones, ones where candy would come hurling in your general direction rather than, say, shrapnel.

Whatever your reason may be, you may or may not want to read this guide to making your own piñata. Jeremy Pencil of Terminal Atrocity and I collaborated on this craft-tastic project, painstakingly documenting every step of the way. We were so industrious, we made two!

The following guide will teach you how to make the piñata. If you would like to read about the experience from someone else’s perspective, then Mr. Pencil has done his own little write-up about our LocoRoco adventure. Anyway, enough with the jibber-jabber. LET’S DO IT!

STEP 1 – GET STUFF TO MAKE THE THINGS

In primary school, my peers ate Clag.

It took Mr. Pencil and I approximately two full days to make the piñatas – this included drying time – and because we spread the work out across several days, we didn’t get all our shit together when we first started the project. This was our first mistake because it meant the above photo, which is meant to show you all the tools you’ll need, is an inaccurate depiction of the things you’ll actually need. So ignore the photo and read the bullet points below.

You will need:

• Ginormous balloons (you’ll only need one to make one piñata)

• Glue/paste (you can buy Clag and dilute it with water, or you can mix flour with water – we tried both! Read on for instructions on how to make your own glue)

• Lots of newspaper (we used: The Sydney Morning Herald, The Daily Telegraph, The Singtao Daily, The Good Weekend, and my local Fairfax Community Newspaper)

• White paper (the regular stuff you normally print things on)

• Chocolate-coated teddy bear biscuits (for sustenance)

• Yellow and brown paint (and a paint brush, unless you want to get creative and use something else)

• A coat hanger

• Patience, passion, flair, and a quiet dignity that is unusual for someone so young

STEP 2 – BLOW

Using your lungs of steel – which you would have developed by not being a filthy smoker – inflate a balloon until it is ginormous.

I used to play the flute, clarinet, and trombone. Them things exercise your lungs good!

STEP 3 – MAKE STICKY STUFF

Here, you have two options. You can buy a generic paste – we bought Clag – and dilute it with water, or you can make your own glue using flour and water. We found that the Clag ran out really quickly and, being relatively destitute journalists who had just spent all our money on chocolate, Mr. Pencil and I could not afford to keep indulging ourselves with non-toxic glue. So we made our own!

This is Clag. It is also known as paste or glue!

To make enough glue to stick the entire population of Wagga Wagga together, mix 1 cup of flour to 5 cups of water.

Ladies from Michigan sure know how to make pasty shit.

Then stir it about. It’s a smart idea to not use a mixing apparatus that conducts heat because you will then find it too hot for your nimble gamer hands to handle.

A scrumptious combination of flour, water, and heat. THAT IS ALL THERE IS AND THAT IS ALL IT LOOKS LIKE.

Allow your mix to boil for three minutes. According to some forum post on a papier mache website by some woman named Sharon from Michigan, cooking the flour and water combo for three minutes unlocks the sticky super-power of flour. Thanks, Sharon!

Oh wow, it's glue! Made from flour and water!

Spoon some of the glue into another container and allow it to cool. Sharon, from Michigan, also suggested adding a dash of ground cinnamon to the mix to mask the smell of flour and water, which is, apparently, offensive to some people. Yeah, well maybe some people should learn to toughen up and grow some Sagat-style balls.

STEP 4 – TEAR PAPERS AND PUT THINGS ON THE BALLOON

You’ll want to tear your newspaper into strips because trying to wrap the entire balloon with one sheet of newspaper does not work. I mean, you could try it, but you’d fail because it doesn’t work. So don’t try it.

My tearing skills were far superior to the other guy's.

Paint some glue onto the balloon and begin sticking strips of newspaper onto it. Use a brush or your fingers. DO NOT USE A FORK LIKE MR. PENCIL TRIED TO BECAUSE THAT IS DEMENTED. Seriously, you’ll pop your balloon and those things take ages to inflate, even with lungs of steel like mine.

This is not a fork.

You’ll want to do about ONE MIRRION layers. And by that, I mean don’t do any fewer than six because then your piñata will be piss-weak. Oh, and don’t forget to leave a large gap at the top so that you can slot in sweets later on!

STEP 5 – HANG ME OUT TO DRY

The longer you allow your piñatas to dry, the harder they’ll get. For the best results, give them at least 24 hours.

When I'm old, I want a life partner who will spend his time being all egg-shaped like I inevitably will be, and we'll sit next to each other, indoors, staring outside. JUST LIKE THOSE EGGS!

STEP 6 – LAYER WHITE PAPER

Sticking down one layer of white paper (tear these into strips as well) will make painting it easier. So, unless you want newspaper-patterned piñatas, this step is highly recommended. You only need one layer. Once you’re done, leave it out to dry again.

White oppressing yellow. WELCOME TO MY LIFE.

STEP 7 – FILL WITH DIABETES

Would you prefer Type 1 or Type 2?

We spent a ridiculous amount of money on sweets. No, actually, Mr. Pencil spent ridiculous amounts of money on sweets. First, we went to David Jones and bought gourmet chocolates that were shaped like baby bees and ladybugs. Then, we bought Fantales because we’re Australian like that, Eclairs, M&Ms, Caramels, lollipops, Starburst lollies, those little sherbet fizzle thingies, one packet of Ovaltines, and a whole heap of others.

So, how does one fill a piñata with sweets? LIKE SO:

Snip, snip!

Your piñata will probably need something to hang off. We got a coat-hanger, bent it in half, and shoved it in ever-so-delicately.

Now you can insert sweets. In you go, baby bee!

STEP 8 – PAINT THE THINGS

WAIT, before you paint them, seal them. Get some more white paper and glue and just stick on three or four layers to cover the hole. You might want to reinforce the coat-hanger with some tape.

That is my awesome Cadmium and Burnt Sienna combo being all amazing and stuff.

Initially, we were going to do two different-coloured piñatas. We were also going to give one an afro. But then we ran out of time because Pencil and I are busy people who need to work to support our piñata habit. So we painted them Cadmium Yellow.

I cut out some paper ovals and glued them onto our LocoRoco, and painted on some eyes using Burnt Sienna acrylic paint.

STEP 9 – FEEL PROUD OF YOUR BABIES

Our Loco Roco sure like to gossip! They get this trait from Jeremy Pencil, who enjoys reading Who Weekly and New Idea.

Done! Can you even tell which of those piñatas were done by the pros? Yes, of course you can. The yellow ones were totally done by piñata pros, and that demented donkey thing with horns was bought from the $2 Asian shop for $20. Now go forth and make your own LocoRoco piñatas, baby bees! And while you’re at it, check out Jeremy Pencil’s guide on Terminal Atrocity.