A Month Of Exciting Events! (Sort Of.)

Image courtesy of Fat Chicks In Party Hats.

I didn’t look forward to March for about a bajillion reasons. One such reason was that my calendar was awfully blank — no exciting game launches, no big industry nights, no fun dates, and no truly mind-blowing game releases that I could actually afford. You see, I get paid in beans and, while they’re a fantastic source of folate and fibre, I’ve been told that they’re not a valid form of currency in Australia. Anyway, as it turns out, my calendar lied. While there were indeed no fun dates or game releases I could afford, I did find myself in the company of a brand-spanking new, white DSi…

Okay, that’s only partially true. Nintendo held a media event for the launch of the DSi in Australia earlier in the week; an event that I did not attend. But Jeremy Pencil of Terminal Atrocity was in attendance, and he blogged about how awful it was right here. While Nintendo were only giving away the new hand-held console to those who had RSVP’d to the event early (meaning most of the gaming press missed out on the day), they did hand out cardboard models of the DSi because they’re massive teases like that. Mr. Pencil gave me his cardboard model, perhaps out of kindness, but most likely out of pity.

Here it is:

If you squint really hard, it looks real.

ZOMG the paper DSi opens like a real DSi! My security key and lanyard attachment did not come with the paper model.

In true tease fashion, the paper model DSi came with a 1GB USB flash drive pre-loaded with images of the real DSi. Of course — that’s exactly what I need — more pictures of a product that my paper model has been, err, modelled on. I tested this flash-drive out and was unimpressed. It made loud noises when I tapped it against hard surfaces. And I mean needlessly loud noises. It’s like the inside of the flash drive is hollow or something. It’s something you need to see, hear, and feel for yourself to understand. USB thumb drives are a delicate matter.

Hey, Ron signed the cover sleeve with a love heart! Thanks Ron, whoever you are!

Another exciting thing that happened in the month of March was the delivery of my FEAR 2 prize pack, which I won after I took part (and kicked arse) in one of Kotaku AU’s competitions. I thought the prize would never arrive because I waited for weeks and the mailman kept bringing me nothing but bank statements, invoices for my university fees, and payslips disappointment. So it came as a huge surprise when I received FEAR 2 in the mail, complete with a signed cover sleeve! I have no idea who those signatures belong to; for all I know, Monolith could have gotten all the janitors at the development studio to scribble on it with a silver texta. Whatever. It looks cool.

My prize pack also came with this:

Everytime someone creases a poster, a kitten gets kicked in the face.

I was so disappointed when I found that the sender had folded the poster up so that it would fit in the envelope. What a silly person! I did my best to flatten it out by stacking textbooks on top of it and then throwing my own lard arse onto it, but it still looked demented. Normally, I’d give up on creased posters, but we have the exact same poster on display in our office at Good Game, and I like Good Game an awful lot, so I like being reminded of it.  Which is why I put it up on my wall:

The Scream fears, too. LOLZ SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?! *shoots self*

Pretty neat, eh? I had to do a reshuffle of the posters in my room to make it fit. The reshuffle involved me getting rid of a sexy Klimt art print. But that’s okay, because Alma is pretty sexy, if semi-dead-spirits of pre-pubescent, Samera-esque ladies are your kind of thing. The annoyingly glossy sheen on the poster made it a bitch to stick on my wall, and I presume it’s only a matter of time before the poster falls off the wall and onto my face when I’m sleeping.

Finally, the prize pack came with a t-shirt and an art book. The t-shirt was an XXXL, so it looks like I’ll need to change my eating habits so that I can squeeze into it. The art book was nothing to write home about, so I didn’t bother photographing it.

If that wasn’t enough excitement for the month of March, I also found myself at the IGN AU Select Awards night as Mr. Pencil’s +1. It was held at the Kit and Kaboodle Bar in Kings Cross, and I managed to navigate my way there without getting mugged, accosted, or finding myself roped into a prostitution ring. I’m pretty proud of myself.  At this event, I forgot to bring my camera, so I took a few snaps with my camera phone:

"And the winner is...not Far Cry 2!"

Unfortunately, this was the best photo of the night. The winners were chosen by IGN AU’s readers in one of those Game Of The Year-type polls (I think). Fallout 3 won most of the awards, MGS4 also picked up something, so did LBP and some game by EA.

Oh boy, wasn’t this entire post exciting! There were, of course, other exciting non-gaming events. Mogwai came to Sydney and blasted my ear drums with their awesome, my oldest and dearest friend turned 20 (although this probably makes him my youngest and dearest friend), I increased my shorthand speed by the teeniest of amounts, and I learned how to be really darn angry! Phew! This calls for some SFIV.